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It's A Plunderful Life is under construction again.
It should be active again soon with a fresh look. I hope you'll be back.
If you live near Oklahoma -- check out the Single Mother's Conference in June!
Survive 'N' Thrive...
Say no to the drama. He WILL provide!
I love to read stories in the Bible about women, particularly single moms! This is one of my favorites. Let's go to 1 Kings 17:7-16...I'll wait while you get there...(http://www.biblegateway.com/) If you didn't have time to read it, here's the short version...
- There was a drought.
- God told Elijah to go to a town to see a widow who would give him something to eat.
- God had already commanded this widow to help him.
- He goes.
- She says she has nothing to feed him.
- He tells her to use what she has.
- God ends up providing for her and she never runs out. (Seriously, reading it yourself is better!!)
When Elijah first meets her, she is out gathering sticks - most likely to make a fire. Now keep in mind she is a widow, which means she's a single mom -- killing her own bugs, taking out her own trash and there's a slight possibility she is a bit envious of all those other "normal" families out there. Oh can you relate? All that considered, she just may be a tad bitter at times.
Enter Elijah.
"Would you bring me a little water in a jar?" I'm sure she's thinking, "Can't you see I'm busy?...Men...It's not like I don't have ENOUGH to do already! Hello, I'm alone with a kid to raise by.my.self!" And then as she turns to do it (after all, God DID command her to do this) he throws out, "And bring me, please, a piece of bread."
I'm no expert here, but it's possible she even rolled her eyes at this request, thinking "bring me water...bring me bread...what else? rub your feet?!" Why do I think she may have had an attitude? Read on...
"As surely as the Lord your God lives," she replied, "I don't have any bread -- only a handful of flour in a jar and a little oil in a jug..." (WHAT?!) That's like saying, "I don't have any salad. Just a head of lettuce and a cup of dressing." Her response to him sounds a little sarcastic and dramatic to me.
And then she continues, "I am gathering a few sticks to take home and make a meal for myself and my son, that we may eat it - and die." (I wish I had sound effects for that last sentence...) Oh seriously, I can almost see the facial expression now. Her eyes squinted and head cocked to the side as she sensationalizes her story. And can you hear her tone of voice? Drama Queen. Behind all the drama, he must have seen into her heart because he then says, "Don't be afraid..."
Long story short (too late) - She goes and does as he asked, and God provided for her needs. She didn't run out of food. The story continues and concludes with the widow embracing the Lord herself - not just holding onto Elijah's faith...(go read it.)
But here's the thought... Are there situations and circumstances in your life that instead of trusting God to provide and come through for you, you get caught up in the emotional drama of it? (Me? yes.)
Is it possible you have all you need in front of you and you simply need to surrender it to God instead of giving in to your fear and getting suckered into emotional hooey? (Me? yes.)
Do you sometimes get caught up in the heavy label of being a single mom and forget to count on God to provide for you?
Go read this story in the Word...and reflect on your own attitude when asked to be obedient, or asked to do something that just doesn't make a whole lot of sense, or when you pay bills, or when you set boundaries for your kids, or when...
Say no to drama. He WILL provide!
**Originally posted in May, 2008
What's in your time capsule?
Today on my personal blog I wrote about our plans for Kid Three's first birthday. We're making a time capsule birthday. (Go read it to get the background here.)
But it got me thinking...
Everyday we are "packing" something for our children down the road. Some of us are storing bitterness to pass on. Some of us are storing resentment. Maybe many of us are packing up some peace, love and joy to offer our children. And hopefully, we are laying up treasures in Heaven to share with them!
Whatever your circumstances, remember your children are watching you. They are learning how to react to circumstances and situations based on how you [without formal words] train them do so. They are "packing away" the perceived correct way to handle life's ups and downs.
Bitter? Rest assured they are making a time capsule mental note so they can practice the easy art of bitterness when they have a family.
Thankful? You are training them to have gratitude in their hearts to God for His amazing provision and grace!
Content? Lord willing, they will echo the words of Paul in Philippians when he says he has learned to be content in all things.
I'm often overwhelmed by my role as a mom. I pray the Father gives me grace to fill their time capsules with His word and testimony of His grace and mercy in our lives. Someday when they become adults and begin with their own family practicing everything they learned from me I am confident the Lord will fill in the gaps I may have left! THAT is comforting, amen?
What are you putting into your children's life "time capsule?"
A Facade
Every time the phone rings I am certain it's my realtor telling me our house is SOLD! Lately it's been the realtor asking if we can be ready on a moment's notice to show our house to prospective buyers. (Prospective being the key word here...)
Whip this place into shape. Make it sparkle, make it shine. Make it smell good and make it scream for a buyer? Less than 54 minutes to make this happen? You bet.
My kids know the look when they see it. And they've learned to work fast! They bounce around the house, picking up laundry and putting away toys. I quickly straighten the kitchen and make sure no dirty dishes can been seen in the sink. Nevermind we sometimes have to cram a few dirty dishes in with the clean ones, or often some dirty laundry gets mixed in with the wet, clean clothes in the washer. A quick tour of the house with air freshner and some soft music to set the mood and we're off to leave the "customers" alone with our facade.
We're pros at putting up the facade that our house is always this clean. No one would know the difference when they walk in our front door. It appears we have it all together. Yet, everytime the prospective buyers are gone, I spend time sorting through the "quick fixes" I've done on my house in order to keep the charade.
Our own life can be like that. On the outside it may appear we have it all together but if someone were to look just a little closer...open a few cabinet doors...they may find a mess!
Thankfully, Jesus knows what's on the inside of us! And what's more, he still loves us the same. We don't have to put on a show for him to think we are a house in which he'd like to take up residence. He's the master designer who makes all things new, and clean when he moves in!
Single moms, your life doesn't have to be "show-ready" all the time. Trying to keep up the facade you can do it all will wear you down. Count on the One who can give you the strength to get from day to day!
Here's to a new week!
Prayer
This got me good.
"Reading a book about prayer, listening to lectures and talking about it is very good, but it won't teach you to pray. You get nothing without exercise, without practice. I might listen for a year to a professor of music playing the most beautiful music, but that wn't teach me to play an instrument." (Andrew Murray, "The Spiritual Life," Christianity Today Vol. 34, No. 2)
You know those decisions we're all trying to make? Pray about them.
You know those kids we're trying to raise? Pray for them.
You know those husbands who may be in the future? Pray on their behalf.
Pray.
Don't talk about it.
Just practice the discipline of prayer.
Decisions, Decisions...Part 3
Okay. I'm back.
I fought the laundry and I won.
Moving on.
Back to decision making... Sometimes it's an easy answer if we simply follow what is true. Other times we can discern the answer based on the other things we know to be true. And then there are those decisions we simply can't "figure out."
I'm going to give a "Sunday school answer" but listen, I want you to avoid dismissing it as such. Okay?
Most Believers believe it is important to pray about important decisions yet we often make the mistake of making a decision without prayer. Would you agree? Well, it's true in my own life. I gare-own-tee it!
Prayer.
Why do we believe we can make good, sound decisions that are within the will of God without it?
Do we question whether a particular decision we're facing requires prayer?
Do we think we don't have time to pray because the decision needs to be made fast?
Do we know what to ask for?
Do we even believe God will provide an answer? That one got me.
Ladies, the word of God instructs us to pray about everything - and without ceasing. Surely that includes important decisions. I know in my own life, I am sometimes hesitant to bring a big decision before the Lord in prayer because I am afraid he will not answer or if he does answer, I'm afraid I won't want to listen! You may be feeling the same way.
How does God speak to us?
Glad you asked. He gives us the Holy Spirit as a Counselor to teach us and remind us of Christ's words. (John 14:26) Many times the answer comes to us through the gentle nudging of the Holy Spirit. The better we know him, the easier it is to hear Him.
Think about the decision you are making. At this point, I know it's not an easy one. It may seem there are no clear choices. Maybe all of the options seem grim. Have you given this over to the Lord in prayer? Are you listening for His voice? What are you doing to train your heart to hear him?
I have tried to adopt this "rule" in my life: I do not second guess a decision to act in faith. If I have searched scripture, sought wise counsel, surrendered my will to the Lord and listened for the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I am careful not to look back and wonder "what if". I am confident, as Paul writes in Romans 8, that neither death nor life, neigher angels or demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. ...and may I also add, "neither bad, uneducated decisions..." ?
That alone gives me the confidence to either act in faith or wait in faith on any particular decision.
It shouldn't be a license to just make decisions willy-nilly without careful consideration and prayer, simply because we believe Jesus can redeem all things! Rather it is an assurance that nothing we do can make Him love us less. Nothing.
Today, as you make the tough decisions, I encourage you to take it before the Lord and wait for the Holy Spirit's guidance before acting. Then, once you are in tune with the voice of the Father, don't look back. Don't second guess yourself. Submit it to the Lord and let Him see it through to the end!
Decisions, Decisions... Part 2
Thanks for coming back, even though I'm nearly 3 days late for my appointment with you! Sometimes life gets hectic and I have to add more things to my "to don't" list to keep priorities in line. But I did miss you!
Quick recap:
We made a list of the decisions we're making.
We applied the word to each one and resolved a few based on what the word of God clearly says.
Simple enough.
What about those decisions that don't lend themselves to a neat and tidy answer from the Bible? What do you do then?!
Of course I don't know everything, in fact, I know very little. These are some things I've learned to help me make decisions, even the tough ones. Allow me...
When I am faced with a choice that seems to have several viable solutions yet I can't "pick" the right one (because for me, I'm terrified of screwing it up!!), I ask the following questions of each option:
- Does this option line up with the nature of scripture? - We know there are some things to which the Bible does not speak directly. For example, the Bible does not say "Do not smoke marijuana." (exploiting the obvious again, sorry.) but we KNOW from the nature of all other scripture, this is not a healthy choice for us.
- How does this option advance the kingdom? - Okay, this sounds "churchy" but many times when I'm making tough decisions I can rule out an option or two by realizing the "outcome" only benefits me. Asking this often reveals other options with a more eternal perspective that advance the Kingdom more.
- Has this option been a matter of prayer? - Oh ladies, this is a must. This is the next post and will be the most important of all - so I won't go into too much here.
- Have I sought wise counsel on this option? - That's the problem with no dude in the picture. You don't always have someone at the dinner table to offer a grown up ear. I encourage you to identify some people in your life who are rooted and grounded in the Word, who have demonstrated discernment and someone who isn't wrestling with the same decision you are! (You need objectivity) Do not seek advice with "itching ears" (2 Tim. 4:3) Most of the time, wise counsel will help you discern the best decision rather than tell you exactly what to do.
- Is God leading me to make a decision right now? - We always feel we must DO something. There are seasons of life when we are called to simply be still and KNOW He is God. (Ps. 46:10) Perhaps it is our own selfishness and pride prompting us to move on a particular issue. I do believe we create some decision-making episodes out of boredom or spiritual wrestlessness. Ask the Lord to show you whether you are to make ANY decision at this time.
Father, we face decisions each day that seem too much to handle. As moms we must decide how to raise our children, how to provide for them and how to protect them. Again I pray for clarity of mind for these ladies. Make it known to our hearts the paths we should take that will advance the gospel of Christ and not our own selfish desires. Bring people to them to speak life over them. Give them wise counsel to be able to discern your truth when the decision seems unlcear. Go before them and prepare the way and Father, above all, be glorified in the lives of these precious moms! Amen.
Running Late...
Ladies,
I need another day before I post the pt. 2 of Decisions. I've had some life things come up around the house that need my attention. I made the decision to put my family first today so I simply didn't have time to write my thoughts for you.
I will e-see you Thursday, okay?
Blessings on your day!!
Kim
The Word of God: Fact is Fact
Good day! This week we're talking about decisions, decisions...
Should I homeschool my kids or send them to public school?
Should I date a man who is not a Believer?
Should I let my 10 year old watch PG-13 movies?
Should I make macaroni and cheese or force them to eat broccoli?
Should I tithe or wait until I have some extra cash?
What decisions are swirling around in your head? Me? Oh I've got plenty of questions that are screaming for answers. You're a woman too. I'm assuming you've got a noggin full as well! :)
As a single woman you may find yourself feeling the burden of decision making overwhelming. After all, you have to decide everything in your household, rather than look to a husband to make the hard decisions.
I remember being paralyzed on many occasions with fear I would make a bad decision and wreck my children's lives forever. Or I worried my inability to just make a decision, any decision would insure a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity would pass me by. (Someone just nodded. I saw that.)
Before we go any further, let me encourage you to list out the decisions you are currently processing. G'head. Write them down. Maybe they're big, maybe they're small. Be honest with yourself and list out the things keeping you up at night.
Okay, let's move on.
This week I want to discuss 3 "sides" in decision making - maybe a few more as I pray through this.
Ladies, the first one is so easy but I know many of us (myself included) don't see clearly on some things and find ourselves looking through the filter called "But I want..."
Look at your list. Somewhere on that paper, write FACT IS FACT - WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY? (Ouch, I hated doing that too.) The truth is, we obsess over so many decisions that can be resolved simply by applying some common sense and operating from what we know to be true from the word of God.
Let me give you an example, (and I'll make this easy to exploit the obvious.) Suppose you wrote, "Should I be having an intimate relationship with the guy I'm dating?" Ask yourself the questions, "What does the Bible say about this?" ....Answer: NO. Relations of this nature are reserved for a marriage relationship. And as hard as that may be to swallow, the Bible speaks clearly on this issue. SO, you can cross off THAT question now, because as a follower of Christ, the answer is clear. Of course that was an example.
What about the other decisions on your list? Go through them and apply the truth of God's word. I'll bet there are at least 2 or 3 you can cross off, if you're honest, because the Bible has already spoken on the matter but you're stubbornly waiting on His truth to conform to your earthly desires!
A word of caution (and I've said this before) - If the word of God speaks clearly on a subject, to go in search of a more "comfortable" answer is dangerous. You WILL find circumstantial evil everytime. Ladies, I have lived this truth. I have made bad decisions because I can justify a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g if I want it badly enough...
I'm going to leave you with that task. Apply the word of God to your list. You may have to dig in a little to see if the answers are clear. You may have to dust off your concordance or use an online Bible like youversion.com or biblegateway.com to search some things.
If an option does not line up with what the Bible says, you must dismiss it as no longer a viable answer to your decision. As difficult as this can be, your solutions MUST line up with the standard of Christ.
Ladies, this first decision making step becomes second nature when you have the word of God hidden in your heart - when you are familiar with scripture and you are in an active, growing relationship with Christ. When these things happen, you'll make some of these decisions before you ever put them on a list!
Still have questions on that paper? Tomorrow we go further. What happens when the Bible doesn't speak clearly on a subject?! (This is the stuff you're waiting for, I know...)
2 Tim 3:16 - All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that that man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.
Can the word of God be trusted as an authority in decision making? According to 2 Timothy, I think that's a yes.
Father, I pray for the decisions these single moms are facing. Some are huge and seem like giants! I ask you, boldly, in the name of Jesus to give them clarity of mind as they seek your truth to know the direction they should take. Lead them to scripture that will speak to their hearts. Help them to measure their "options" according to the standard of Christ and not be influenced by the desires of our sinful nature. Oh Father, reward their faithfulness to you and be glorified as they move forward in faith, certain of the Word of truth you have set before them. Amen.
It's a plunderful life.
This and That
Happy Friday ladies! It's been quite a busy week in my house and I am really looking forward to the weekend. I hope all of you get some rest too! (or maybe get to do something FUN!)
Today I want you to start thinking about decisions you are making. Next week I'm going to share some notes from a Bible study I've been doing about decision-making. As a single mom I know you make a gazillion decisions each day and some of those decisions are tougher than others. So, come back Monday for some thoughts on decision making.
I've posted a new poll on the left. Which is harder? Being single or being a mom? Sorry y'all. You have to pick one or the other.
Take a minute to visit some other single mom blogs - click LINKS on the right. Do you have some favorite single mom blogs not listed? (I know there are tons!) Leave the link in the comments so we can all visit and share some comment love!
Ladies - may I close this week by praying for you?
Father, these are the ones my heart loves. I know you adore each of these single moms. Your word says you are a father to the fatherless and a defender of widows. You set the lonely in families and lead forth the prisoners with singing. (Ps. 68) For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Eph. 3)
Amen.
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